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YY YZ JR
You and I, Together; Forever. (:
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YYY
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i was feeling really sour. thoughts cycling all around my mind, i sat down alone reflecting my thoughts. buring my favourite cranberry home frangrance oil. some things i tried deciphering, some things i find it hard to contemplate. partiality. why must partiality exist. i looked back my past..recalling the times when i was still a little child. comparing to my current being. it didnt really make much of a difference. i still face the same attitude i received 17 years ago, and now. partiality in family. is it becoz im born a female and not a male. like the typical chinese tradition's saying. a male can carry down the surname of this family. blablabla.. why do i always play the dustbin part, where i wears his clothes, plays his toys, uses his stuffs, and i can go on forever and begin to relish the rolse of a martyr. but i must restrain myself, lest i really fall into depression. haha.. but that doesnt mean i didnt receive any love from parents, just that, bias-ness stands in. yup. seeing others getting blessed so much by family and peers. really made me an green eye monster. like, im always the one being the on-looker, never the lead actress. and my line is always, ' woah....*with enviousness*'. so when can i actually be the you know, be the one, where my eyes're sparkling with tears of joy and my face wreathe in smiles. yet again, how much have i actually impacted on others' life, that im worthy of such tribute. that's the question. some people have vast peers around. peers whom really love one another. so much that praises never stop coming out of their mouth for each other. peers who'll go the extra mile to crack their brains to celebrate that once in a year day for their loved friend in a suuuuper special way. whereas some people, have only themselves to have fun. have only themselves to celebrate any special occasions. but ya, im not the second type of person, neither am i the first. maybe the im the middle-type. or, 3-quarter, more the the second type. maybe that's how God's plan is. to let different people go through different situations, to develop different character. to impact on different things. tsk, i have so many doubts. i think, not even a day is enough for me to ask all. =/ yyy |